Hee he. I couldn't help it. I am so happy that Ren & Stimpy are on Nick for a while. I LOVE it! Anyways, folowing my earlier post this week, you'll be happy to know, I hope, that I had a much better day today. I can't believe what a wonderful day I have had. Work couldn't have gone better. Home was great, I was in home in time to actually cook dinner, put dishes away and be there for all the basketball practice. It was great, I actually felt like a mom rather than an RVT.
Today, as I was reeling from my near perfect day at work, I was thinking about a sermon Pastor Brian spoke of a few weeks ago. The difference between Happiness and Joy. You see, I have a very hard time getting my hopes up lately. Well, for years, actually. I have such a fear of being disappointed that I have a hard time really enjoying the good things. I thought that I was a person without real joy. I was so glad to learn the difference between happiness and joy.
Happiness is fleeting, joy is substantial. It is beyond how you feel today about your circumstances. It is knowing that no matter what, I'll be ok. I know that I know that I know my God loves me and will take care of me. I know that He knows infinately more than I do and He knows what is best for me. He is more concerned with my heart than my comfort. I thoroughly believe that sometimes, just letting go is all you need to do to be blessed and sometimes not being blessed in the way that we want is truly a blessing. I have prayed so many times that if being financially 'stable' would change my relationship with God, that I didn't want it. Wash it off like a bad disease. The more comfortable we are, the more complacent we can become. Humans act like humans. When we aren't in need of something, we don't look to God for comfort, guidance, provision, etc. If we had everything we needed, we wouldn't look for Him. We wouldn't see it as the blessing it would be, we would feel that we were self sufficient or feel like we had something to do with it. Let me tell you. You have no talents that God hasn't given you, whether you are a Christian or not.
If you know me, you know that I am a scatterbrain. I want to be one of those mom's who seem to 'have it all together.' Having an orderly house doesn't come easy to me. I don't mean physically (really, who likes doing laundry) I mean mentally. If it comes easy to you, I bet you are confused. I have to really think when cleaning house or I end up running around in circles. I prayed and prayed once for the Lord to give me the ability to keep my house clean. It was miraculous. really. My house was CLEAN. Every day when I got home from work, I'd spend about 20-30 minutes and presto, it was clean. It was so wonderful. About a month into it my mom came over and was amazed. She said, "How are you keeping your house so clean?" (You see, her mind is muchly cluttered like mine. :) I replied, "Uh, I clean it." You could almost hear God snapping his fingers and taking it away from me. It had become so easy for me that I quickly forgot who had given me this newfound cleaning talent. Well, it was gone. It hasn't returned. I am working on it, but it certainly isn't as easy as it was. I got proud and forgot my God. See, what I learned deeply that day is that you are not accidentally born with the talents you have, they didn't come because your parents taught you them alone, they didn't come just because you worked really hard at it, they came because God planned you to be with the family you are with and he knew what you needed. Or because He just handed them to you. Remember who they came from. Even if it's cooking, cleaning, managing money, whatever you do well. What you have to decide next is whether you want to use those talents for good, or for excellence...but that's another story. :)
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